Creative Side. Business Side

Every morning I wake up and think about what mask to wear. Is it better to be intelligent and creative or provocative and irreverent? Is it better to create a masterpiece for a few or a trash for the general public?
I am creative, but I don’t know what to create, a real paradox, right? I don’t know what I want, and I don’t understand what my audience asks for. I don’t know if I will be able to satisfy him or to appease my desire to create something.
I’ve always promised never to lose sight of myself and what I want to do, no compromise, art, or death.
But I’m long dead now. I choose the business side. I have to eat. I only get a jolt of pride when people love what I do, but it doesn’t happen anymore. What have I become? The shadow of myself, a creative without ideas.
Or maybe it’s just the mask I’m wearing today?